Growing Pains
by 1200purple12
Summary: "It's not hate that is the opposite of love, rather it is the indifference one can have against you"
1. Chapter 1

**Hello everyone ^_^ This is my first little fanfic I've decided to write.. and keep posted. I'm not sure if it'll be just be a one shot yet or if I should add more. Anyways, I hope you all like it and give me some feed back(:**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters**

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 **Helga P.O.V**

It's not hate that is the opposite of love, rather it is the indifference one can have against you. Hate can be dealt with, but indifference crushes the soul. It was when I realized this did I truly know what the pain of rejection felt like. As much as they told me to move along, something burning inside me clinged to the ever faint hope that one day he would feel for me again.

But as I sit here alone the hope grows weaker. My thoughts begin to drift elsewhere as they do each night. I try to keep myself from going to the prime focus of him. However I can't help it. He consumes my conscious.

They say if you can't sleep at night you're awake in someone else's dream. I always wondered if there was truth in the superstition.. It would explain my many sleepless nights. Always about _him._

Tonight was chilly, I had my bedroom open with the fan in it. Autumn came quickly this year, overnight almost. Not that I was complaining, the heat and humidity of summer was getting old and a change was just what I needed. Occasionally I heard the cars pass by down on the street. The afterglow of the sunset was still visible and night was pushing to settle in.

The day had been gloomy, the kind of day where nothing had felt right. A force was pushing itself against me, almost enough to make me act like a basket case. I was trapped in my thoughts waiting for a deterioration although I knew it wasn't possible. You cannot forget the imprint a person imposes onto your life. Especially the mark that makes it worthwhile, like a never ending dream until reality crashes down around you.

I decided my best option to rid thinking for a while would be to go on a walk. So what if it's 7pm and dusk is falling? Depression doesn't stop for anything. Not even for this lifting season.

I hopped up off of my comforting bed and picked up a sweatshirt from the laundry basket. Carefully placing it over my head and tugging down slightly. It was too tight in all the wrong places, aged by years of use. Originally rose pink now faded. Faded like many things in life. I was about to leave the room when..

The locket on my nightstand caught my eye. A memory so dear yet too painful to remember. I grasped it in my hands for what I decided was the last time. I unclasped the lock to the under layer of my heart. The newer inscription written in delicate cursive, the words from my soul. Quickly I closed it to stop the feelings from flooding my brain. The pain was going to suffocate me if I didn't leave then and there.

I hurried down the dim hallway locket in hand and nearly toppled over myself going down the stairs. **I needed to escape.** This was becoming too much to bear. Heart thumping and the cold sweat suddenly hitting me. My "loving" Parents, Miriam and Bob were in the middle of another squabble. As always they didn't notice my presence leaving the residence. The door creaked as I opened it. A rush of cool waves enveloped my body, sending chills all over.

My initial plan was to head down to the pier, but as the night dropped into the 40's I knew my safest bet was to head somewhere for coffee and maybe get a bite to eat. I passed by a simple convenience store, subconsciously I knew it was near _him,_ his universe. My chest had beat out of rhythm as I left an aisle and there he was, the apparition of him. No my mind was not fooling me into a delusion.

It was **Arnold.** I had loved him for 13 years up to this point, and it never ceased to amaze me that I could have such a strong admiration, adoration and most importantly love for a single person. If one deserved any then that would be him. I may only be 16 but I'm aware of how deep my feelings run.

Well, we were now in this small shop. As I was now trying to contain and compose myself Arnold had walked over to section on the opposite end of the store. He had seen me, the brief look given towards me was tell all. Weighing my options at this point I asked myself _"Is it really worth it to go and speak to him?"_ Since he had broken up with me weeks prior he blatantly ignored any hint of me. After a few times trying to contact him there was the night all communication was cut off. No longer was I allowed to view any relation of him. He made an effort to delete me out of his life.

An effort not gone unnoticed…

Now here I was, I walked over to the area he was in. Pretending to look for something on the shelf behind him. Not paying attention to the wet floor sign as I hastily walked around a corner. With just my luck I fell, leaving a loud thump in my wake. My locket had fallen. This had caught his attention and he perked up from the item he was looking at. Focusing that attention on me.

"Helga, are you alright…?" Arnold said in a questioning tone. Even while being indifferent he still helped those in need. He walked over to where I was caressing my sore wrist. Not before seeing the locket and picking it up.

Finally I spoke the first words to him in weeks "Well I certainly wasn't expecting to run into you tonight…" I hadn't noticed before, but now I did. He was studying the locket.

"Hey! What do you think you're doing? I yelled then slightly paused. He looked at the locket, and then at myself. Without missing a moment he began to speak again.

"Well Helga, I think the better question is. What are _you_ doing?" He raised his eyebrows at me and waited for one of my smart ass responses. One that would never come. I got up off the floor meeting him at eye level.

Calmly in a meek tone the words began to flow "I was just out for a walk, I needed to clear my head. You know?" and he should have known. More than anybody else.

Arnold remained quiet for a moment, I couldn't see if anything had registered an emotion with him. "Alright then.." he trailed off. Taking one more look at the locket he then took my hand and placed said object in it.

I was confused by his actions but would not confront him on the matter.

"I have to go, I'll see you around Helga" With that, Arnold was gone. I spent a moment sorting my thoughts out and decided to head on home. What the hell just happened?

Chapter 2


	2. Chapter 2

**Well hello again ^.^ I am back.. finding inspiration is a difficult task you see. However, I did manage to write this chapter up. I'm not quite sure where this will be headed yet but eventually I'll figure it out. Also, any and all feedback is appreciated. This is my first fanfic and I'm not quite sure where my writing capabilities stand..**

 **As always, Disclaimer: I do not own these characters nor the song mentioned.**

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 **Chapter 2**

 _ **1 Month later, Mid-October**_

Today was Friday, and we had finally gotten a long deserved break from school. Personally I could not have been happier to get a day off, with the constant pressure it felt wonderful to unwind and relive stress through sleep.

However, that would not remain so for much longer.

Waking me from the much needed rest was my phone. As it buzzed next to my pillow a few times I became fully alert and turned over to check it. The time it read was 8:17 am.

"Ugh who is bothering me this early in the day?" I mumbled to myself irritated. Then picked up the phone, swiped down and checked my notifications. What I viewed next nearly floored me. The question was why now? My eyes read the words over and over. Trying to find comprehension. I got up from my bed and began to pace around the room. Oh yeah, my stress and anxiety was coming back, big time.

 _Hey, Helga.. I still have a few of your things. I'd like to return them if that's alright with you. Meet me down by my house later. -Arnold_

Why was Arnold of all people speaking to me again? Didn't he have the least amount of consideration for me? Wasn't I the last person on this planet he would speak to? I had to urgently call Phoebe, now.

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…" _Well Helga I just wouldn't read too much into it. Its Arnold being Arnold, you know how he is"_ I could hear Phoebe trying to talk me back into some rational sense. But alas, failure.

Well, this conversation could of gone better I thought.

Nearly letting my frustration out I pleaded with my best friend "Pheebs can you not crush my hopes for once? I'm head over heels for the guy still." I sighed. It was too late, hope was crushed indefinitely. Bracing myself for the next response I curled up on my bed.

" _Helga, you guys have been broken up for over a month. Neither of you have spoken a word to one another. I doubt he's reaching out for a second chance."_ She finished bearing annoyance in her voice.

But there it was, the sense I needed to have knocked into me. I had done relatively good over the past month ensure that my feelings stayed safe guarded. Of course, I would falter every now and then with a moment of weakness. This was one of those times.

Knowing our talk was coming to an end I said my goodbyes "Well.. I'll talk to you later Phoebe, but I can't promise I won't do anything stupid!" with my exclamation I had spoken all I needed to say.

" _Alright Helga. But please take some of my advice, okay? I'd hate to see you end up getting hurt because of false hope"_ Phoebeended in a light tone.

"I'll try Pheebs, I really will" I said, not quite believing myself. And with that the call ended, signaling for me to get up and get prepared for what would come in the next few hours. My emotions would be overthrown, and in the most dreadful way possible.

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"Okay... grey or cream?" I said to myself, holding up two sweaters. Though neither satisfied me. "Ugh, this really shouldn't be difficult. It's not a date Helga, it's to get your shit back remember?" Rationalization, what could that be? Not for today it seemed. Throwing myself onto the bed I tossed both sweaters to the floor.

It seemed I was already defeated. As I had been for the majority of my short lived existence. "I'm not supposed to act so..depressed. I'm Helga G Pataki dammit. I'm passionate, a writer, a lover..." Trailing off I gazed out of the window. Ombré leaves melted onto the pane of glass. Droplets of water trapped them from blowing elsewhere. What a dim melancholy day.

Granted, I felt compelled to take a risk. Life would not be life without it in some form. I was going to fuck up, that much I knew. Maybe I was much gutsier than previously when I was younger but still feared rejection. Yet I had already been rejected.

" _To hell with it.."_ I thought to myself.

It was nearing one-thirty in the afternoon, I decided it was the optimal time to leave. Grabbing one of the sweaters off the floor I headed out, pulling it over my head. It was grey. Grey like the day. Rain sprinkled the ground around me and the familiar chill swept through my body.

Popping my earbuds in one of my favorite 70's songs began to play. It held a meaning too true nowadays.

 _ **Hello it's me….**_

Goosebumps prickled my delicate skin.

 _ **I've thought about us for a long long time**_

My combat boots crunched the fallen leaves, the air reeked of burning firewood. Which I always thought as one of the more defining smells of autumn. Carved pumpkins sat upon stoops and some even decorated with more than that.

 _ **Maybe I think too much but something's wrong, there's something here that doesn't last too long..**_

I always had a usual routine when it came to going to Arnold's. Cut through the alleyways and climb up to the fire escape…Not that I didn't love his eccentric family. The surprise he would generate each time I showed up suddenly was why I did it.

 _ **Maybe I shouldn't think of you as mine**_

But today it seemed the usual couldn't suffice. It was no longer appropriate. I had to consider something other than. My nerves were turning me to anything but confident.

 _ **Seeing you…Or seeing anything as much as I do you**_

Today, we would have a detour.

 _ **I take for granted that you're always there, I take for granted that you just don't care**_

I walked until I found a coffee shop. As coffee had always settled me in some strange way.

 _ **Sometimes I can't help seeing all the way through**_

Walking in, the warmth gracefully wrapped itself around me. My indecisiveness that had plagued me was finally laid to rest, as I settled on a chocolate frappé. When in doubt, always settle on the familiar. Sipping the sweet drink to calm me down.

 _ **It's important to me...that you know you are free..**_

Finally, I would head to my destination. Now it was nearing two. I was closing in on Arnold's residence, the warmth I had received was long gone. Replaced with the reminder of these next impending moments.

 _ **Cause I'd never want to make you to change for me**_

"Well… here goes nothing I guess" I grasped the ladder to Arnold's fire escape. Carefully moving with each step, as the rungs were worn with years of rust. I climbed to the roof then threw my legs over the brick and concrete.

"Wow, I can't believe I still got it.." I muttered almost inaudibly.

"That doesn't surprise me.." a voice from behind me spoke up. Nearly making me have a heart attack.

"Jesus Football Head!" I yelled "Are you trying to cause my premature death?!" I gripped the ledge tightly.

He gave a smirk then spoke once more "Of course not Helga, but you can't always be the one to surprise me"

"Well ha ha then Mr. Funny, you got me this time" I replied dripping with sarcasm. Continuing on "Anyways, where is this stuff that is so imperative for me get on this lovely fall day?"

"Hmm, well I have a few of your books that you lent to me a while ago. I thought you would like me to return them" He smiled warmly through me.

Slowly standing up I replied awkwardly "Uh, yeah…that'd be cool" I prayed that he couldn't read me at this very moment. Inside I was shaking, the effects this guy has on me were deadly.

Arnold walked towards me and put his arm around my chilled shoulders then made his suggestion "How about we go inside for a while?" reluctantly I agreed. He walked me over to his open window and I slid down. The room was home to me. My safe haven away from the place I should have called home.

I watched as Arnold jumped off his bed. He walked over to the stereo and turned on the radio. "I bet you still love your classic rock right?"

Nervously I responded "Of course I do dipshit, who do I look like?" Giving him a playful smile. For a moment it felt as if the passion had never faded. Laying back on the bed I could smell his scent, I wanted to stay. I wanted to be wanted by him again.

"Just making sure, you always got annoyed when genres like country would come on" Arnold drifted off. I noticed his eyes darting around, always making a pause back to me. He sat on his couch legged now remaining silent.

Feeling determined to do more than small talk today I became inquisitive "So, how's your life been for the past month..?" I glanced over to his normally vibrant eyes, now dulled as he spoke. I instantly regretted asking.

Speaking quietly he began "Well.. My family had been contacted by the authorities down in San Lorenzo a few weeks ago. They told us they had found my parents, however they had been long gone by then.. they revealed they had been viciously murdered from what it seems…" He paused. Depression fell on his face.

I felt such sorrow for him. He never deserved something so unfortunate to happen to him. "I'm so sorry Arnold…" I walked over to him and held him tight. He held me with just as much intensity. Letting go I gazed into his eyes.

"You didn't deserve your parents to be taken away like that. Not you" morose was now hitting me as well.

"It'll be okay Helga.. I just wish I had gotten to know them. That's what pains me the most" He closed his eyes and took a deep breath "I know that they loved me, and that's what's important"

 _They weren't the only ones to love you Arnold.._ My thoughts overtook me. The advice Phoebe had given me was definitely not going to work.

"I'm not quite sure what to say now" I said honestly. Scooting over respectively to give him space.

"I wouldn't expect you to Helga, but just having someone here to listen is more than enough" He got up and walked to a shelf "You should probably get your things though, that was the purpose of you coming here"

I got up myself and went over to him. I was going to fuck up, I was going to lose self-control. He made me want to give him all of my love. There was no way he wouldn't get my love. We stared for a moment. And then…I leaned in.

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 **Chapter 2 is now complete(: I hope you guys enjoyed it. The next one should get things picked up to a faster pace.**


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